Just A Little Update

Well, I'm sitting here eating my yummy stir fry and watching my baby play with his favorite thing in our house, the bathroom door. He sits and opens and closes it over and over. I think he's finally noticed that there is another unexplored room (the bathroom) I better keep an eye on him... uggg, I have to go get Jakob's from grandmas in five minutes. I just need one day ALL to MYSELF! We all feel this way, right?

Well, it's been a little while since I wrote. In fact it's been 3 hours since I wrote the previous sentence. That's how this past week has been. Work on one thing, switch to the other, then return and finish the last thing. So much is going on, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it all.

The most consuming thoughts are about Leif's new career path and all that we need to do to follow it. I know it's the right path... But definitely NOT the easiest. But we'll survive.

The rest of life is just life. The every day happenings. Jakob LOVES preschool! He has learned So much and is growing up. Caleb is growing up right before my eyes. He is really happy and content for the majority of the day. He starts to struggle around 7:00PM. We took him to an ENT doctor to have him evaluated to see about putting tubes in his ears. He told us that if a baby has more then 6 ear infections in 12 months then they are a candidate for tubes. Caleb is definitely in that category. So he'll get tubes at the end of this month.

The previous post gives you an idea of how I am doing. For the most part I am well. I will be focusing on my Holistic Health Practitioner studies for the rest of this semester. Leif will have his last reprieve from school during the summer semester. So I am actually going to take advantage of his free time. I am going to enroll in some of the General Studies that I have avoided for so many years. Then he will be available to tutor me;)

Well, I really need to get the dishes done. I HATE Dishes! Wish me luck!

For The Record: Mama's Health Update

For The Record: I might as well give a quick update on my health since I have recorded it this far.

I was diagnosed with severe Anemia several months ago. From that point on I took 1 round of a liquid Iron supplement and have taken a high grade Prenatal Vitamin faithfully. I am happy to report that I am no longer Anemic. Blood test shows this, but I can tell! I had no idea that Anemia could cause so much pain and problems.

Beginning when Caleb was born I started a regimen of supplements. The Prenatal, 4 grams of Omega-3, extra Calcium, and extra vitamin D. I have tried hard to eat healthy and luckily my kids and life keeps me active enough that I haven't had to Go Out and exercise. With all of this combined I have been able to lose around 30 pounds. I'm still working on losing at least 15 more. I feel really good though.

Unfortunately a couple/few months ago my body decided that it HAD to have the stupid/blessed anti-depressants in order to function kindly and happily. So, I followed the cues and went on Paxil and Wellbutrin. Unfortunately, the side effects have been a real struggle this last month. I'm really trying to figure out the best way and things to do and take to find a healthy baseline and stay balanced. For now I am currently just on Wellbutrin twice a day and no Paxil. I like the results until I fall asleep at night. Some nights are fine. But other nights are full of nightmares. So I'm doing my research. I thought about going to talk to someone. But I decided that it was too much work for now. I'm fine for the most part. I am reading a few books and once I've gathered all the information that I am looking for, then I will make some decisions along with my doctor.

So, that's Mama's health report.:)

BOOKS:

My Journey from Darkness to Light: How to overcome Depression and Bi-Polar Illness one step at a time By Patricia Tew Potts

Natural Prozac: Learning to release your body's own anti-depressants By Dr. Joel Robertson with Tom Monte

The New Anti Depressants and Antianxieties: What you need to know about Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Clonazepam, Ambien, and More By William S. Appleton, M.D.

A Few Clarifications

I need to give some clarifications about some things dealing with a couple of my previous posts.

First things first:) I need to clarify that the numbers next to the word Baby on my last post, is the age that the baby will be that year, not the number order for the next baby. I plan on only being Pregnant one or two more times. Which will bless our lives with plenty of children.:)

And now, back to some political issues that I need to define my standing on.

When I wrote my post titled: A Dream Fulfilled, one of the main points that I wanted to make is that I believe that the dream that Martin Luther King had has in many ways been fulfilled by electing President Obama. I am happy about this because I admire Martin Luther King very much.

I did not vote for Obama. If I had my way, Mitt Romney would be President! But I believe that once a person becomes the President of our country they deserve the respect that comes with that office. However, we are not required to support everything that the President views as right. That is supposed to be the beauty of a democracy. So I will clarify...

I am very much against any form of abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or the mother's life being threatened.

I do not agree with a government dependant society. I will forever be grateful for the assistance that the government has given my little family. However, I feel that a person should always be encouraged and given incentive to progress and care for themselves on their own. I can see how easy life might be to have the government "govern" so many aspects of our life. But that is not the plan that God has established on earth and in heaven. We are meant to have agency.

I am not in support of gay marriage or homosexuality being openly taught in our public schools. There is much I can say on this issue. But it's not necessary. I will leave it at that. My position on this is firm and steadfast. This position should not be misconstrued to make one believe that I am "homophobic", or anti-gay. I am not. There are just some things in this world that we have been counseled by the prophet of the Lord not to accept as right.

Now, with all of that said, I will say this in final; I will forever try to be an optimist. Life is so much easier to live this way... As I watched the inauguration of President Obama, I focused on the things that I can control. I can control my attitude. I can try to seek out hope even though it might be intermingled with sorrow. My hope is that my children will be able to look to president Obama as a man who is an example of integrity. I hope that he will be able to resist the prideful pressure that is so heavy in the political world. I hope he will find a way to help the American people find a way to help themselves. I hope that he will remember his dream for America. AND I Hope that right will prevail and the righteous will triumph. I can try to see the rainbow amidst the storm. Therefore, I will.

Final Answer: Nurse Anesthestist

These last couple of days I have intentionally turned off the computer so I could just focus on pondering, taking care of my house, and my family. But I am happy to have a couple of hours today that I can just blog and update.

Towards the end of last month I could feel the spirit preparing me for a change in our life. I had no idea what it was. But looking back, I know I was being prepared. Leif and I make a point of staying clued in on the happenings of the world around us. We all know the state of our economy. It has even effected us in this tiny little town in the middle of nowhere. Many people have been laid off from their jobs and many of them are struggling to find employment elsewhere. There are several housing developments that have been started and are now sitting dormant because of the lack of buyers. Our dear friends have had their home up for sale for over a year. Things are not good for many people. We all have hopes that things will turn around quickly, but realistically speaking that's not likely. It's very possible that it will get worse before it gets better.

All of these things have caused Leif and I to reconsider the path that he is on for school. His end goal was a Business degree. But business might not be the most secure destination for us. It would be very sad and frustrating if we took all of the time and money to go to school, only to have a nightmare of a time finding employment once he graduated.

With that said, I'll tell you what decision that we have been led to. Leif is going to steer back to the medical field. He is going to earn a Registered Nursing degree. He will then earn a Bachelors Degree in Nursing, and finally he will earn a Masters Degree as a Nurse Anesthestist (anesthesia.) This is a field of nursing that is in high demand. The salary range is wonderful as well as the ability to work wherever we want to work.

Leif has always enjoyed the medical field. But he steered away from it because of the schooling involved. But he has now realized that he doesn't mind the student life as much as he thought he would. This is a good thing. Because we have a career in schooling before the career as a Nurse Anesthetist. The following is the plan that we wrote out for our future. I had to do this in order to fathom what our life will be like for the next several years. This will be our final decision. If this plan changes, it will not be because we wanted it to.

2009
Spring January-May 2009: Leif NAU (Business), Lena finish GCNM
Summer May-August 2009: Leif (Any missing classes), Lena MCC
Fall September-December 2009: Leif MCC
Jakob 5 (Kindergarten) Caleb 1
Stay in F
2010
Spring January-May 2010: Leif MCC (Weekends SG, M)
Summer May-August 2010: Lena MCC
Fall September-December 2010 Leif MCC (Weekends SG, M)
Jakob 6 (1st Grade) Caleb 2 Lena PG(?)
Stay in F
2011
Spring January-May 2011: Leif MCC and NAU(Weekends SG, M, DAYS K)
Summer May-August 2011: Leif NAU (Online and K)
Fall September-December 2011 Leif NAU (Online and K)
Jakob 7 (2nd Grade) Caleb 3 (Preschool) Baby Born(?)
Stay in F
2012
Spring January-May 2012: Leif Hospital
Summer May-August 2012: Leif Hospital
Fall September-December 2012: Leif Hospital
Jakob 8 (3rd Grade) Caleb 4 (Preschool) Baby 1
Stay in F or SG
2013
Spring January-May 2013: Leif Hospital
Summer May-August 2013: Leif Hospital
Stay in F or SG
Fall September-December 2013: Leif Masters Program
Jakob 9 (4th Grade) Caleb 5 (Kindergarten) Baby 2
Move to Masters Program Location
2014
Spring January-May 2014: Leif Masters Program
Summer May-August 2014: Leif Masters Program
Fall September-December 2014 Leif Masters Program
Jakob 10 (5th Grade) Caleb 6 (1st Grade) Baby 3 (Preschool) Lena PG(?)
2015
Spring January-May 2015 Leif Masters Program
Summer May-August 2015 Leif Masters Program
Fall September-December 2015 Leif Begins as a Nurse Anesthetist
Jakob 11 (6th Grade) Caleb 7 (2nd Grade) Baby 4 (Preschool) Baby Born(?)
Move to Nurse Anesthetist location

Draper Temple and the Dinosaur Museum

I have been so busy since we got home from our little road trip that I haven't been able to give details on how fun it was. We went to SL to go through the new LDS Draper Temple open house with Grandma and Grandpa Hunt. We also took the time to take Jakob the Dinosaur Museum while we were there.

I was disappointed because the book on CD that I purchased just for the trip didn't arrive on time. But my friend Harmony saved the day and loaned us a couple of fun LDS mystery novels. We all really enjoy listening to the books as we travel. I love that Jakob tries to follow the stories too. The Draper temple was beautiful, of course. We tried to help Jakob understand how special it was that he was able to walk through a temple before he was 12 years old. My dad was able to hold Caleb on his lap, so I was able to walk with Jakob and talk with him throughout the tour. We discussed the different paintings hanging on the walls and the story behind them. We also took the stairs instead of the elevator and we talked about the fact that as we climbed the stairs it was symbolic of us getting closer and closer to our Heavenly Father. It was a really special moment as a mother to be able to walk through the temple with my little family.

We wanted to surprise Jakob with the trip to the Dinosaur Museum. He saw the museum as we drove past it on our way to my parents. So he was talking about it almost non stop after that. But we all managed to convince him for a while that we were going to go to a Carrot Museum instead of the Dinosaur Museum. He believed us at first, then he got upset because he wanted to go to the Dinosaur Museum so bad. I could just hear his little mind thinking how strange it was that Mama and Papa wouldn't take him somewhere that he wanted to go to so bad. We still kept it light hearted and told him that we would let the car decide where we would go. He was thrilled to see the Dinosaur Museum as we drove up to say the least.:) We watched a 3D dinosaur movie, Played in a river of sand, water, and dinosaurs, dug for dinosaur bones, and ran through the museum like a four year old:) The next morning Jakob had fun eating dinosaur pancakes.

Camera Frenzy

I have had my camera for a few weeks now and haven't had time to expand on how fun it has been. The truth is that Leif has been able to learn more about all of it's features then I have. I just haven't had the time to play with it. But it's fun to see all of the fun that he has with it. I will have fun while I take a digital photography class soon. Here are some of the fun photos that we took as we were figuring out the camera:

A Dream Fulfilled

Today Jakob and I sat together and witnessed history in the making. As we sat together watching the inauguration of Barack Obama, I was struck once again at the intensity of my patriotism.

I Love our country, and I am trying to instill that love in my children.

I do not agree with everything that President Obama hopes to accomplish. However, I do respect him as our president. As I listened to him speak today, I believed that he believes in what he says. He is not the "typical" politician. I actually felt like I was experiencing a breath of fresh air as I listened.

I drove past a church this afternoon. It was named "New Hope Bible Church." I reflected on that name and realized that is how I feel about our new president, a new hope.

My hope is that my children will be able to look to president Obama as a man who is an example of integrity. I hope that he will be able to resist the prideful pressure that is so heavy in the political world. I hope he will find a way to help the American people find a way to help themselves. I hope that he will remember his dream for America.

Dreams do come true. Today we witnessed the fulfillment of a dream.

Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I Have a Dream"

delivered 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Caleb's Crawling

This evening we were all getting ready for Family Home Evening when Caleb gave us a fun surprise. He really wanted whatever it was that Jakob was holding and before we knew it, he was crawling for it. I knew that he was really close to crawling earlier today. So I stripped him down to his onesie so he didn't have to work around his baggy clothes. It seemed to do the trick. Now he's able to get around double time. He has been doing the army crawl for the last week, and getting around fast. Now he's just faster.

Nine months and two weeks old and he's finally sleeping in at least three hour stretches, and crawling. My baby is growing up...

WOW! Sleep...

Well, something has changed... Caleb went down at 9:00PM and woke up to nurse at 1:30. He then slept until 8:30 AM. I laid him back down and he's still sleeping. Amazing!

Oh What A Day!

I woke up this morning having had the most uninterrupted sleep I have had in nine months. Caleb slept for 8 hours straight! I was asleep 6 of those 8 hours. It was an amazing experience;) We are thinking that there might be a few reasons for this sudden change. It's still in the experimental stage. He went to bed with a full stomach of baby food and milk. We gave him a warm bath and a nice lotion rub down just before bed. And there was no Paxil in his system.

You are surely wondering what in the world I mean about no Paxil in his system. Well, unfortunately Caleb gets a tiny trace of my antidepressant meds from my breast milk. Throughout the last couple of weeks I've been wondering if my Paxil has been causing my increase in horrible nightmares and Bizarre dreams. I finally decided to stop taking Paxil for a couple of days to see if my nightmares subsided a bit. They have, they're not completely gone for me. But I am wondering if Caleb has been having a similar side effect from the Paxil, and that is why he is constantly waking throughout the night. Last night and tonight there is no trace of Paxil in him, so we'll see how tonight goes.

Unfortunately, I have a love hate relationship with Paxil. I love that it keeps me from being a bear throughout the day. But I Hate (and can't tolerate) the nightmares and dreams. So, I have to go back to the drawing board. I still take Wellbutrin during the day. But it doesn't cut it. I had a pretty rough day today. I am going to have to suck it up and go see a psychiatrist so I can discuss what meds are best for my situation. Because, when Mama ain't well, ain't nothin' well!

Today was filled with a lot of driving back and forth from one place to another. I took Jakob to and from school, went and got my blood drawn to check up on my Iron, dropped books off at the library, picked up Leif and then took him and picked him up from a dentist appointment. Needless to say, I was very sick of the car by the end of the day.

The fun part of our day was our FEDEX delivery. My camera arrived today!:) We spent a lot of the evening taking pictures. The camera is amazing! I will share more about it when I have pictures to show. It is really neat!

I was supposed to go to Young Women's tonight. But I was too frazzled by the time it came time to go. I had to curl up with a good book for a while to ground myself enough to fix dinner and straighten the house, and then bathe and put the kids to bed.

The absolute BEST part about my day was Leif! He was my knight in shining armor, as usual. But tonight it meant a bit more. He helped me wash the dishes. He helped me get the house completely cleaned, and he forgave me for having a moment of absolute belligerent rudeness towards him. What a gift he is in my life!!!!

Tonight we gathered up all of Jakob's toys. We separated a tiny amount for him to play with, and the rest went behind the wall (where we store extra toys.) I am SOOO Sick of toys spread out everywhere, and I'm even more sick of how spoiled Jakob has become. He doesn't show any gratitude for his toys and is constantly asking for more. I am well aware of the fact that that is normal for a four year old. But it is good every once in a while to humble them a bit and help them appreciate what they have. We've done this before and it helps for a while. He'll be able to get a few out every couple of days or so.

And the final news of the night is: We're Going On Another Road Trip!!!!:) We'll head out tomorrow to visit Grandma and Grandpa Hunt again. We're going to go to the Draper Temple open house. I am so excited to take Jakob through it!! We will also take Jakob to the Dinosaur Museum. I'm also looking forward to giving Leif the chance to use his Massage gift certificate that I gave him for Christmas, and I get to go out to dinner with my dear missionary companion. So it will be a great trip! I really hope the book on CD gets here tomorrow before we leave after Leif gets home. We got The Supersonic Saints by John Bytheway. It is a compilation of stories about LDS pilots and their stories of faith and adventure. We should all enjoy it, especially Jakob!:)

Finally A New Look!

Thanks TCBOTB for putting a few new Valentine templates up even though the site is down! I really needed something new to look at.:)

Printing My Blog Book

Thanks everyone for all of your comments on my posts! I know my Mamma Mia post was a bit extreme, but like I said (without going into detail), it hit too close to home right now... Anyway...

I just want to thank all of you who read all of my deep thoughts and then some of my not so deep thoughts. I love hearing from you! I love finding new friends and hearing from them too. That's where facebook has been really nice!

I'm working on finalizing things so I can get my first blog book printed. I'm using http://www.sharedbook.com/. Come to find out blogger isn't as easy to print from as some other blog hosting sites. So this company is one of the few companies who will work with them. But they seem to be good. The book will be about the size, quality, and look of a year book. I'm really excited. This book will have everything from 2006 through 2008. Needless to say it will be long. Probably around 200 pages. That is a lot of writing and pictures!!

I know as people read my blog it might feel like I'm just writing to all of my faithful friends, family, and bloggers out there. But the truth is, this blog is for my future family members of tomorrow. So when you come across an odd post, you can just consider it a "For the Record" post. I love being able to consider this one way to check Family History off of my "Ways to Get to Heaven" list!:)

Sick of This Blog Background!

I really hope The Cutest Blog On The Block gets back up! I'm Really sick of my background!!!

Mamma Mia Disappointment

We watched Mamma Mia tonight. Even though this has been a popular Broadway play, and now a popular movie, I never really knew the whole story line. I only knew what the movie trailers showed, what everyone raved about, and that it sounded cute to me.

As we watched the show the entertainment was great! We laughed and enjoyed the music, dancing, and quality acting. Then the show started coming to an end. This is where I became very disappointed. Call me old fashion, but the lack of morals in the show hit too close to home in my family and the world we live in.

The show starts with the daughter telling about these three men that her mother had a "summer romance" with. There was only one of the three men that the mother truly loved. Then throughout the movie the daughter continually has to convince people that she truly loves the man she is going to marry. So naturally you think that the mother and the daughter will end up having a double wedding. Well, not so...

The daughter gets to the alter, the secret of the fact that her mom doesn't know who her daughter's real father is gets all cleared up, and suddenly the daughter decides that she no longer NEEDS to get married. The daughter's Love wraps her in his arms and says in essence ahhh, we're too young to get married, let's just travel the world together first! Then the mother's Love announces that he still loves her, and she reveals her love for him, and they get married instead.

HERE IS MY QUESTION: The daughter and her fiance loved each other just as much as the mother and her Love loved each other, Why Not BOTH Get Married!? What is the difference between the two relationships? This is a SERIOUS question that I NEED some feedback on! Why does a couple who loves each other as much as a married man and wife decide Not to get married! WHY!!!???? I need some insite. I'm not standing to judge, it is honestly something that I don't understand and I am trying to figure out...

Hawaii Memories... Happy Birthday Nate!

Happy Birthday Nate! .... To Us in Hawaii! ...

Nate is my youngest brother who lived with me in Hawaii for a while. We lived in a tiny 200 square foot closet sized apartment that we payed $550-600.00 for each month. We hung a lava lava skirt as a door to the bathroom. We leaned our mattresses up against the wall during the day and when we laid them down at night, one mattress blocked the apartment door so it couldn't open all the way. We shared a community kitchen. And we continued the family "green thumb" tradition by growing a rose bush and tomato plant out in the parking lot of the complex. Poor Nate stayed home much of the days and nights reading and playing cards. I worked two jobs and was dating Leif. We tried to include him in the fun when we could;) Nate came with me on a trip with the family that I was a nanny for. We went to the Big Island and had a great time! aahhh Hawaii, Such Good Times!

This is something that one of my roommates from Hawaii sent me. I LOVED it because I could relate to it in so many ways! Those of you who know me well will understand.:)

You know you from Hawaii when...

- You can understand and speak pidgin english and da people from da mainland cannot understand you
- You automatically take your slippahs off in someone elses home
- No body is completely sure where "north" is...
- You eat rice every single day
- Its shave ice not snow cones, shoyu not soy sauce, saimin not ramen, slippers not flip flops
- You know to NEVER turn your back to da ocean
- The name Duke means royalty...
- You know what "ukus" are and you had um at least once when you was one lil keiki
- You been to almost all da oder islands
- You have highlighted hair
- You know where all da creepy places like burial sites are on da island
- Da term "dress up" means one nice aloha shirt and jeans
- You eat arare
- You know what "tutu" means
- You eat malasadas
- You get a million pairs of rubbah slippahs outside your house when your family gets together
- You dont understand why someone would buy anything smaller den a 20 pound bag of rice
- You eat portuguese sausage, eggs and rice for breakfast
- You buy large quantities of toilet paper in case ders a longshoreman strike
- You would serve spam as a meat for dinner
- You know why ders letters on top da trees at graduations
- You can taste da difference between teriyaki and kal-bi
- You know wut da "stink eye" is and how to give it
- You can correctly pronounce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua and Aiea
- You know wut "Morgans Corner" is and it still scares you
- You know wut a "Huli Huli" chicken is
- You know da difference between being hapa and hapai
- You know wut it takes to get into Kamehameha schools
- You say "Nori" not seaweed paper and "Brah" not bro
- You know why Sharks Cove is called Sharks Cove
- Your jokes are about da Portuguese not Polish
- You tink 70 degrees is cold
- You know pineapples dont grow on trees
- Public transportation = Da Bus
- You get da surf report on speed dial
- You spent half your life barefoot
- You neva understood why adding pineapples and ham to a pizza made it "Hawaiian" to da rest of da world
- You eat mango wit shoyu, vinegar and pepper
- You know how for cook rice by measuring da water wit da knuckle of your index finger
- The condiments at da dinner table are shoyu, ketchup, chili peppah watah, kimchee, takuwan, Hawaiian salt and pickled onions
- You call everyone older den you "Aunty" or "Uncle" even if dey arent related to you
- A balanced meal has 3 starches: rice, macaroni salad, and bread
- Your only suit is a bathing suit
- You drive barefoot
- You feel guilty leaving a get together without helping clean up
- The idea of taking something from a heiau is unthinkable
- You'd rather drag out da compressor every morning to fill da leaky tire instead of get it fixed
- Da only time you honk your horn is during a safety check
- Your cuzin is Japanese-Chinese-Filipino-Hawaiian-
Portuguese-French-Korean-Scottish and some stuff too manini to mention
- You watch your favorite shows "on top da TV"
- A approaching hurricane only means one thing....Surfs up brah!
- Da best cooks use pleny mayonnaise
- Beans are da perfect condiment for ice cream
- No one knows exactly where da "fast lane" is on da freeway
- Female volleyball players are major celebrities
- Birds walk more den fly
- When you hear da words "fundraiser" it means Zippy's Chili
- You go to Maui and your luggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs, guri-guri, and saimin from Sam Sato's
- You know 101 ways to fix your rubbah slippahs
- You have someone in your family named "Boy", "Tita", "Bruddah", "Sonny" or "Honey Gurl"
- You have a slipper tan
- You sometimes use your open car door as a dressing room
- "You like beef" has nothing to do wit wuts for dinner

Birthday SUPRISE!

Leif came home from work yesterday (my birthday) with a beautiful bouquet of roses. They were a complete surprise and a very sweet gift. I was completely content.:) BUT...

As we were eating dinner down at his parents house he excused himself from the table and said he would be right back. I thought nothing of it. When he returned he handed me a piece of paper.

The paper was a picture of THIS:

Canon Rebel XTi

It is an awesome camera meant for the semi-professional photographer. Apparently, Leif got a killer deal, and THIS is my birthday gift from Leif (along with everything else he gave me.;) I was speechless, and that doesn't happen very often!

I'm still speechless! It is a VERY NICE camera. I am VERY Grateful! And VERY EXCITED! But whoa! All I can figure out how to say is:

I Love You Too, My Love!

Can you guess what one of my next college courses will be? Yep! Photography.

A COLON CLEANSE!???

I think it is hilarious how everyone has reacted to me doing a colon cleanse and the fact that I have announced it to all of you! :)

There shouldn't be anything embarrassing about doing a colon cleanse! It is a very good idea for all of us! There are a lot of different types of colon cleanses. The one I'm doing is just powders, teas, and pills. So don't think I'm going too extreme!;)

I just had to let you all know that you made me smile!:) Also, thank you all so much for your phone calls and messages wishing me a happy birthday. It has brightened my day! I have Young Women's at my house tonight (which I'm happy about.) So Leif and I will go out on Friday. My mother in law just called to tell me she's making us dinner tonight. So, things are great!

30 Years Old

The calender tells me that I am 30 years old today.

From what I am told, 30 years ago was a sweet day in my parent's life. My mother always tells me that the day I was born was a beautiful Sunday. They had attended church and when they went in to the hospital, the doctor (who was a bishop) sang hymns as I was born. I like to think that there is a significant reason that I was born on a Sunday. It always meant something to me anyway.

My mother tells me that I was a jewel as a baby. My mother needed this gift because she became pregnant with my younger brother when I was only TWO MONTHS OLD! I can not even fathom that thought. Let alone have it be a reality!

As a child I remember a few birthdays that stand out. I think the first must have been my 8th birthday. I had a big party. We must have been celebrating my baptism as well. We went ice skating and I had a lot of friends there.

My sixteenth birthday was fun too. My friends came early in the morning and kidnapped me. We went to breakfast. I feel bad because I get my sisters 16th and my 16th birthdays mixed up. I think they made some type of banner for me to wear to school that told everyone I was finally sixteen. Fun memories...

Now that I'm married and a mother. Birthdays take on new meaning. When one of my kid's have a birthday, I reflect on the fact that I gave birth that day... When I have a birthday it usually means that Leif and I can count on a special date night. Leif usually always spoils me. When we were in Hawaii he surprised me with a blue pearl necklace. Last year we went out to dinner and came home to a special birthday cake made by my mother in law and Jakob. It had a whistling candle on it.:) This year, Leif is granting my wish. I asked Leif to order he and I a Colonix kit. Yes! I asked for a colon cleanse for my birthday!:) Hey, it's been 30 years! I'd say it's about time for a spring cleaning!!;)

Reoccurring Dreams

My friend Heidi wrote about a reoccurring nightmare that she keeps having. I told her that I have a similar dream, and that I would write about it. I actually have a few reoccurring dreams. When Leif and I got married I started to pay attention more to my dreams. I noticed my nightmares a lot more, probably because I had someone to snuggle with and find comfort from after waking from the nightmare. Over the five years that we've been married I have 4 different reoccurring nightmare themes.

The most common nightmare theme is a dream that ends with a horrible argument between my mother and I. The context of the dream changes but the theme is always conflict and sadness. My mother and I often viciously tell each other that we hate each other. I usually end up going back to her and taking my words back. Other times I just plead to know why I am hated so much. It sounds terrible, I know. They are often very disturbing. I pray that they will go away...

The second most common theme revolves around the last days of my senior year in high school. It's the end of the last semester of my senior year. I have skipped so many classes that I can't even remember my schedule, let alone where the classes are located. I have to find a way to get the office ladies to reissue me my schedule so I can try to save myself from not graduating from high school. Sometimes the dream ends with that frustration. Sometimes it continues and I am not able to graduate and I have to go through different scenarios of telling people that I won't be walking with my class in graduation.

The next dream revolves around Leif. Whenever I have this dream the story of the dream is different, but I am always trying to reach Leif on my cellphone. I can't get hold of him. My phone is broken, or I can't remember the phone number, or he just doesn't answer the phone.

The fourth and final nightmare stems from the loss of my twins. In this dream I have given birth to a baby. But somehow I have forgotten to nurse the baby. After hours of forgetting to care for the baby, I frantically and hysterically search for the baby. When I find the baby it is no longer living.... Such a bizarre dream!

Reasons for these nightmares?

I can't tell you every reason. But the obvious reason to me are:

First dream: My mother and I fought viciously when I was growing up. It was very traumatic for me and obviously had a serious impact on my subconscious self.

Second Dream: Well, I skipped class a lot in high school. I graduated because of the mercy of my sign language teacher passing me when I should have failed. I think that affected me. I also liked the thoughts that my friend Heidi had about the fact that I might be feeling unprepared for something in my real world.

Third dream: Leif and I joke that I probably have that dream when I want to snuggle with Leif but I'm too asleep to wake up enough to roll over and snuggle:) It might also stem from the horrible fear that I have of losing Leif.

Fourth dream: This one is obvious. When I lost the twins, one of the hardest things physically was having to stop the production of breast milk. It really affected me psychologically. I think now that I am nursing Caleb, my subconscious mind sometimes tries to alert me that I have other babies that I should have nursed and cared for.

What an interesting world our dreams create.

Nine Months Old and Still Awake...

This morning I'm trying to recover from another terrible night with Caleb. Two nights in a row of screaming and feeding every 2-3 hours through the night. Don't worry, I'm re-evaluating things. He'll be nine months old tomorrow and I'll be 30 years old. I need my sleep. I can handle every 4 hours. But at this point, less then that is too hard.

The last two evenings I've made funky meals for dinner. The first was Thai Chicken and the second was Moraco Chicken. Both had some spice to it. But nothing too extreme except ginger or turmeric. Maybe he's teething... I hate the guessing game!

Well, it's time to start the day. Jakob goes back to preschool today! Praise Be For That!!!!!:)

Looking Back-Looking Forward-Enjoying The Present

The last twelve months for us have been great! That alone is a true blessing. During the first month of 2008 we moved back to our little cottage, in our little town, with our little family. We will be here for the next two years or so. Leif has continued with his schooling and is moving along great! We welcomed our second little boy, Caleb, in April. He has been a joy from day one. It is such a blessing to have a healthy baby. We love watching Jakob interact with his baby brother. He loves being a big brother!

Soon after Caleb was born and I was up and going, summer was upon us and we took full advantage of the fact that Leif didn't have work tying him down. My parents sponsored a trip throughout the the states of Illinois and into Missouri. We traveled for three weeks. We visited Nauvoo and Carthage jail. And we visited with family during the Westwood family reunion in Branson Missouri, along with many fun things in between. We desperately needed the trip. It had been a hard couple of years leading up to the trip and when we arrived home we felt re-energized. -Thank you so much Mom and Dad!! We will never forget the the precious time spent with you! -

After our trip we struggled a bit to find employment for Leif during the school months. But after much prayer and searching Leif was offered a position at the local Elementary and Middle school. He is their Office Aid/Lunch Coordinator/Character Counts Advisor. It keeps him busy and happy. But that is only his first job. He is also the local liaison for the Community College. He helps the local residents enroll in college classes as well as securing the faculty for our location. THEN, he is a full time student online with Northern Arizona University. He's working on a Business degree. Along with family life, these jobs, giving occasional massage therapy, and school, Leif is also the Primary Music Chorister every Sunday. Needless to say, Leif is a very busy man! Happy, but busy!

Jakob and I both started school this year as well. Jakob continued preschool. He LOVES everything about school. He also loves the ballet class he goes to each week. I started a Holistic Health Practitioner program this Fall. I have learned a lot and look forward to learning more as I continue. It is set up as a two year program. I also enrolled in some general education classes at the community college. I enjoyed them so much that I will be taking more classes every other semester. It's been really neat to have the chance to show Jakob the importance of education by example, rather then just by words.

Some how in between all of our responsibilities Leif and I made the time to fix up our house. The boys both have their own rooms now, the walls are painted, and it feel just like home. Words can not express how grateful we are to Leif's parents for their unselfish love. They have given this space to us unconditionally. We will forever be grateful for this home as well as the time we get to spend with Leif's family as we live so close to each other! - Thank you Mom and Dad! -

My life is full every day with the journey of being a wife, mother, and student. I am also blessed to work with the Young Women in our ward as the First Counselor in the presidency. It has been a great experience that has really helped me to get outside of myself a lot more.

As I said, this past year has been wonderful. It has been fun, happy, and stable. We feel truly blessed!

During the 2009 year we plan on continuing on the path that we're on. Leif will continue to build his education and serve the community. I will continue to enjoy my family, being especially happy that I'm not pregnant (I've been pregnant or recovering from pregnancy for a LONG time leading up to Caleb's birth) I will continue to work on loosing weight and getting healthy, continue my education, and continue to enjoy my time with the Young women and the ladies I serve with in the presidency. Jakob will continue to amaze us every day by his ability to bring us the greatest joys and the most aggravating frustrations all within one day. He will prepare for kindergarten and hopefully be able to start in the fall. He will also have his first dance recital this spring. Caleb will most likely be the one who changes the most this year. He will continue to be our little bright eyes. He will learn how to move around and then he'll start to talk. He will undoubtedly follow his big brother everywhere, chattering right along with him (Then I'll really feel schizophrenic!:). But oh how fun it all will be! As a family, we hope to improve our family scripture study, we look forward to a nice summer vacation(s) again, and just enjoying our everyday life together.

And for the present moment, Leif is ordering his school books for this upcoming semester, I am blogging (a common past time), Jakob is watching his Your Baby Can Read video and singing along with them, and Caleb is asleep.

Life is good!

The Christmas 2008 Journey

We had a great trip to my parents house! We are also happy to be home. For no other reason then there is no place like home. Jakob walked in the door and his face lit up as he said, "I sure missed our house, did you miss it too?" I missed our soft Memory Foam mattress pad;).

Now it's time to give a run down of the events and fun memories:) There are many!

One of my favorite parts of a road trip is the chance we have to listen to a book on CD. On the Christmas road trips we always listen to Christmas themed books. This year was a series of three books by Donna VanLiere called The Christmas Shoes, The Christmas Blessing, and The Christmas Hope. They were tear jerkers. But they all had a great moral to them and filled us with the Christmas Spirit.

The whole trip was filled with Christmas parties and gathering and TONS of food! Jakob was also able to participate in the Nativity during primary in my parents ward. He was a wise man. He acted more like a "wise guy"! It was one of those moments as a mother when you wish you could either crawl in a hole, or rewind time and threaten your child with his life if he doesn't show his best self. Jakob decided that once he got up to the baby Jesus (in front of everyone) that he wanted to play guns with the other wise men. In our family, that was/is not acceptable in the church! So, Leif and I were not impressed and made sure we had a good talk with Jakob after the program. Ahh, the joys of raising boys:)

Jakob and Grandpa had a great time together! Grandpa even played play dough with him. Jakob was in Heaven! It was nice to see him play and interact with Grandma and Grandpa Hunt. He loves to spend time with them! We also got to spend time with Uncle Jared and his girlfriend Rachel. As well as Uncle Jason and his girlfriend Hannah. It was nice to have a few more people around that were willing to throw Jakob around a bit and hold Caleb. - Thanks Everyone!!!! -

We took the chance to go out with just our little family to ride the TRAX to see the Christmas lights on Temple Square. We also walked through the huge Conference Center. Luckily we were bundled up because it was cold. But it was a beautiful site and a fun memory. Jakob loved the train the most, of course. However, he loved to see the temple again and talk about the fact that Leif and I were married there.

On Christmas Eve my mom made a yummy dinner for all of us. There was only one major kitchen drama. The marshmallows on top of the yams started on fire. They were REALLY on fire and though I felt bad, I had to throw a glass of water on them to get the fire out. It was actually pretty funny. My mom is a great cook though, she was able to save the yams some how and no one could tell they had been such a mess at one point.

Christmas morning was fun as usual. Of course Jakob kind of thought the world revolved around him. But that was okay.:) It kind of did... We stuck with the three gift tradition. But somehow Santa didn't get the message. Next year we will really follow the plan. REALLY!:) I got spoiled too!! I got pearl earrings, books, aprons, and RAM for my computer! I was able to keep Leif's gifts a complete secret. This was not easy because he found a receipt for the gifts. Luckily he found the return receipt. I found his gift for a cheaper price online, so I returned the one I bought at the store. So he was clueless until Christmas morning when my brother brought in a big heavy package. It was the Collectors Edition of Calvin and Hobbs. - Thanks for helping me find a good deal Heather and Ty! - I also gave Leif a gift certificate for a massage at a spa. He deserves it! We tried really hard to help Jakob understand the true meaning of Christmas this year. I think he got the message. That makes everything worth it!

A couple of days before we left for home we FINALLY went to visit my grandpa Hunt and Grandma Pat. It was the first time that Jakob was really able to comprehend that they were his grandparents too. It had been WAY too long since we had visited them!! - I'm so sorry about that!! - We had a wonderful visit. My Grandpa has the gift of writing. He read us a few of his poems and letters to his family. We also took pictures and visited for a long time. We also loved to go out and see all of the Christmas lights that cover their house and yard every Christmas. Sometimes we put the most important things off in our life and don't even realize it until it's almost too late...

When the girls were in the hospital, Leif and I decided that we would start a family tradition. We decided that on the Christmas years that we were near the hospital that we stayed in, we would take a gift or two for some of the families that had babies in the NICU. We did that this year. It was a sweet experience. We took two Willow Tree Healing Angel figurines. We took the kids with us and presented them to the NICU nurse. We asked them to decide who might benefit from them the most. I hope that it brings the comfort to them that we intended. It brought us comfort and peace...

In between all of these fun times and memories we had a lot of snow and some sickness. But we didn't let that stop us from using the gift that my brother Jared gave us.

He gave Leif and I tickets to the Jazz game. We took Caleb with us and left Jakob to have special time with Grandma and Grandpa. We had a great time! - Thanks so much Jared! -

- Thanks everyone for the great time!! We had a Westwood family party. It was fun to finally meet you Steph. We really missed all of you who were snowed in!!! Hopefully we'll catch up with you sooner or later. Are any of you planning a trip out to Missouri this summer? Please let us know if you are! We're thinking of driving out if the gas prices stay low. -