Leif bought me some ice cream and pre-made cookie doe on Saturday night after the long day of yard work. Tonight, I've made a connection... Ice Cream for me, is of the devil! (You must know I am not literal here.) But in a sense, this is true in my world.
Last night (Sunday) right before bedtime I fell into a Funk. A Funk is a stupor of emotion and physical strength. There is no clear explanation of why I am in the Funk, I just AM. Last night I had strange dreams. The worst dream ended with someone (a man) Stealing my car,driving off, with Jakob still inside. It was so traumatizing that it woke me up and I had to cling to Leif until I fell back to sleep.
I was fine throughout the morning. But then I sent Jakob off with grandma, my sister in law, and his cousins for the whole day. I was like an anxious mother hen all day! Here I FINALLY had a whole day where I could just get things done (school work) and the whole time I just felt uneasy. For NO GOOD REASON! Leif finally came home from work and got me out of the house for dinner. Even through that I just steadily declined in my Funk. We watched a movie and had ice cream and cookies. After the movie I fell right back into the pattern of Funk. I felt anxiety about whether we'll make it through the heavy school load (in the future), whether Jakob will do well with his dance recital (in the future), and ... I am just not "well" tonight. You should have seen me when Jakob got home. I felt like he had been gone a week!... I've been doing really well too...
And I put it together tonight. I pondered what had changed in the last few days. Really, the only change has been ice cream and cookies before bed, Leif having a heavier school load last night and tonight, and the warm sunny weather has declined. My conclusion: Ice Cream Screws Me Up! It is the straw that can break the Camel's back in my world. I can not resist it when it is in the house and I eat a lot of it in one sitting, always at night before bed. The Results: Messed up chemicals and hormones from all of the contents in the ice cream.
So, Just don't eat ice cream, Right? Uh, yeah, Wish Me Luck!
Just to clarify: Leif doesn't do homework on Sunday's like I implied in this post (his choice.) But he did discover that his homework load is heavy this week that night. Just wanted to put that plug in...
Monday, March 23, 2009
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6 comments:
Oh Lena, I am so sorry that you were feeling that way. I was totally feeling for you as I was reading that. Feeling that way really sucks. That is why I will not let Dusty become a full time fireman, I would be crazy non- stop. I believe that you can stop eating ice cream. I know you are a strong person that would not let something like food take control of you!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Ohhh Ice cream...I think I will go have some he he. I haven't had a hard time declining ice cream though lately. When I'm pregnant I can eat a whole half gallon in one sitting. (and no I'm not joking) When I have the baby my craving just spirals downward and I don't crave as much sweets. The other day I took the kids to the peppridge farm outlet and got some chocolate covered milanos. I love milano cookies and thought I would love those but it was too much chocolate for me, I surprised myself my only eating one. I think it shocked Kevin too that I gave him the rest of the bag. You'll have to test that and not eat them tonight and see how your dreams are.
Yuck - I'm totally familiar with those horrible feelings, it sucks. You are such a strong woman though, you can get through this!
And oh the ice cream - I totally stay away from dairy! Get the organic soy stuff instead. It's crazy all the chemicals and hormones and other junk that's in there that can mess with your own chemical balance.
ha ha - I like your title. You're so good to figure out patterns like that. Usually I just suffer through and blame it on whatever. I hear you, though, I don't know if I could give up ice cream forever - even if I knew it did put me in a funk. It's probably my favorite indulgence. Good luck! Maybe it's just that flavor :)?
I agree about the ice cream as well. I know I shouldn't eat it because it does the same thing to me but, How can you walk away from such goodness.
You sound a lot like me Lena. I wrote a blog about sugar about 20 days ago that had many similar discoveries! I have gone 20 days without sugar! I'm feeling better!
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