Loving Another Person

Tonight the subject of love and marriage came up around the dinner table (we found out about a couple's pending divorce). The classic statement, "you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first" was expressed. I have taken the time tonight to really ponder that thought.

In my opinion I believe that one can love another without loving themselves. However, I know for certain that a person who does not value themselves, can not show value towards another person. Love and Value are different in their actions. I found a statement on this subject that draws a good picture of what I am trying to say.

"It's the mirror effect, basically. You see in the other what you see in yourself, and hate it. Or you expect in the other what you don't have yourself...and they don't have it either."

Have you ever found yourself obsessed over a weakness within yourself, and then realized that you have not only started nagging yourself about the weakness, but you've started nagging your spouse about the same thing? The mirror effect that is mentioned above can become a very dangerous tool that the adversary uses to destroy a marriage.

I stopped tonight and asked myself what my biggest frustrations were about myself today. Then, I reflected on what I said to and how I treated Leif today (in thought and deed.) They were surprisingly similar.

I believe that perfect love is an eternal quest. But true love is attainable in this life. Loving our self requires recognition of a weakness and action to fix it. This change shows value.

We can only inspire change in others as we change our self.