Thinking and Getting Sleepy

I think everyone is busy these days. All of our winter blogging hours have slowed down. But that just means we're all outside playing and running around more... Right? I think that's been the case for me. I'm still trying to catch up with my brain... In fact, that's why I'm still awake when everyone else is asleep (2 hours ago!) I finished my book a bit ago. I set down all of my school books long enough to read a couple Anita Stansfield's. So that was really nice! But I tried to roll over and turn my head off, and it didn't work. So here I am.... Thinkin' and getting sleepy...

Last night I had a very interesting experience right before falling asleep. Babies have been a subject of contemplation and discussion in our home lately. So as I was falling asleep my mind naturally wandered into that territory. I began pondering about the prospect of having a little girl next... I then pondered about how it would feel to have a little party to celebrate. Then I was shocked to suddenly feel my heart literally ache and my eyes fill up with tears as a sudden longing for my girls settled in. It never fails to amaze me how sudden those moments come and the intensity of them. I find myself taking it in, feeling it, and processing it. Then as if it were a dream, it's over. Almost like the time that I had on earth with my girls.... So interesting, the loss of a child and life after their loss... So interesting!

Well, I think I'll be able to sleep. I best be tryin'. I'll give more updates on our every day happenings in the morning!