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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Offended - Now What?

What do you do when you find yourself feeling seriously offended? Not just the irritated, "ah I hate when that happens" irritated, I mean the times when you stand aghast at how hurt and angry you feel, offended.

Today, I found myself offended. I wish that I could say that I handled it just the way that I teach my children to handle such feelings. I wish that I could say that I handled it just as our Savior teaches us to handle it in the scriptures. I hope to handle it better in the future. Thankfully, I did not do any permanent damage to any relationships. But I sure had the desire to lash out. Unfortunately, Leif is the only person who reaped the lashings of my wrath.

When I found myself withering from the result of this offence I bubbled over with hurt and anger. Gradually I began to just simmer. After hours of simmering I was finally to a point where I found myself thinking about my own actions toward this person who had offended me. Just before putting the kids to bed I was struck by a memory. I remembered writing something to this person months ago. I then realized that what I wrote at the time was from my sincere concern and love for this person. However, it is very possible that she may have found herself sitting in her office chair simmering with offence. Oh, how the tables can turn and how often we misconstrue love for criticism ... How will I handle it next time?

Leif just posted this in response to this post:
"I was thinking and talking with Lena about why she was so offended I thought of this analogy I thought I would share. Sometimes we bury our fears and troubles under our faith. Faith in our Heavenly Father, faith in ourselves, faith that good will overcome. But then sometimes as in this example with Lena, someone pulled up or revealed that exact fear that she had worked so hard to bury in faith. So it hurt...until she realized that she still had faith and that all was well."

6 comments:

Hubby said...

I was thinking and talking with Lena about why she was so offended I thought of this analogy I thought I would share. Sometimes we bury our fears and troubles under our faith. Faith in our Heavenly Father, faith in ourselves, faith that good will overcome. But then sometimes as in this example with Lena, someone pulled up or revealed that exact fear that she had worked so hard to bury in faith. So it hurt...until she realized that she still had faith and that it all was well.

Janee said...

I always get so offended by the smallest things! Ugh, one of my many weaknesses. I'm workin on it!

Molly said...

Sorry to hear that you were offended. When you lay your most inner thoughts out for the world to see, someone is bound to disagree. I hope you get over these feelings quickly and move on with your life. Give the kids a big hug and try to have a super day!

Harmony said...

I think your Hubby said it best. I think that is really good advice for when anybody hurts us. I think what you have to remember too from the last post is that there is never really a right time to be pregnant or have a baby if we waited for that time we would never have any children. You really have to go with what feels right with you your husband and the Lord. God will carry you through and see that you have what you need to make it. It usually wont be enough to be completely comfortable but it will be enough.

Sandra said...

I think we all get that way. I'm sure I have offended someone without knowing and not meaning too. Good post, good reminder.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you were offended (wasn't me!), but sometimes people let politeness take a backseat to honest concern. I really don't think faith should preclude careful planning, and I think I haven't planned as well as I should have in some cases and hence regret it. God is more likely to respond when we do all we can for our part. An objective look at our personal situation, and realistic planning would've prevented a lot of my own problems...
-IMB Brother-in-law

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