Last night was one of those nights that you wake up wondering if you slept. It's a known thing that when you're pregnant your dreams are more vivid. Last night I had an ongoing dream with several stories and one endless concern.
No matter what was happening in my dream I found myself in a panic because I couldn't find my baby. Apparently I left the baby with someone and they kept forgetting to bring the baby to me.
I only share these types of non-uplifting things "for the record." For those of us who have lost a child it is important to recognize the signs of grieving and healing. These dreams most likely stem from the loss of my friend's baby and my heart being sad for her, as well as my heart wishing I had my girls.
I have been pregnant two times since I lost the girls. Each time I have had a baby boy. After finding out that it's a boy my heart and mind have to re-register that my girls are in heaven. I NEVER not want my boy, I just always go through a time of wanting my girls TOO.
Ahh, the journey...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
We The People...
"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." - The U.S. Constitution
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." - Declaration of Independence
My mind and heart have been weighed down all day today. I have thought of little else then what the future holds for my three sons. Here I have Jakob who already dreams about the day he will be a pilot for the United States Air force, he has at least 20 years until that dream can even be a reality. What will he be defending in twenty years? Who will be giving him his orders? And What will be on that presidents agenda?
Will it be the will of the people he governs for?
Or, will he just promise us that we'll see his wisdom when all is said and done? What if we finally say No, will he look down at us as his subjects and with all his glory inform us that No is simply not an option!
Tonight, unfortunately I have no clear answer. Therefore, I will have to lean on faith. Faith that we as parents will be able to discern and follow right. Faith will lead me to action. I will start today to instill the correct teachings and truths that our Founding Father's originally intended us to follow into the hearts of my sons. And in the end, I will lean on Hope. Hope will clothe me with courage.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." - Declaration of Independence
My mind and heart have been weighed down all day today. I have thought of little else then what the future holds for my three sons. Here I have Jakob who already dreams about the day he will be a pilot for the United States Air force, he has at least 20 years until that dream can even be a reality. What will he be defending in twenty years? Who will be giving him his orders? And What will be on that presidents agenda?
Will it be the will of the people he governs for?
Or, will he just promise us that we'll see his wisdom when all is said and done? What if we finally say No, will he look down at us as his subjects and with all his glory inform us that No is simply not an option!
Tonight, unfortunately I have no clear answer. Therefore, I will have to lean on faith. Faith that we as parents will be able to discern and follow right. Faith will lead me to action. I will start today to instill the correct teachings and truths that our Founding Father's originally intended us to follow into the hearts of my sons. And in the end, I will lean on Hope. Hope will clothe me with courage.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Back To School
You may be wondering what I mean by "Back To School." Well, that's what time it is for me. I have put my Holistic Health Practitioner schooling on the back burner for several month. It's time to get back to work.
So if it seems I've fallen off the planet, just check my other blogs and you'll most likely find me there. Wish me luck!!
So if it seems I've fallen off the planet, just check my other blogs and you'll most likely find me there. Wish me luck!!
Monday, March 08, 2010
The Prayers of a Patriotic Child
Jakob always says the darndest things. But tonight I have the energy and I remember some of the things he said today, so I'll share.
Tonight I was giving Jakob a mini Family Home Evening lesson. I was basically going over the primary lesson I had taught on Sunday. We learned about the creation of the world and more specifically about trees, plants, and flowers. So I asked Jakob, "Why did God put trees on the earth?" Jakob responds, "So we could have food." I ask, "What kind of food?" He immediately answers with, "you know, pizza, bananas" I start laughing and then he realizes what he said and he can't stop laughing. It was just one of those sweet moments.
Jakob says the most unique prayers that I've ever heard come out of a five year old boys mouth. The first part of his prayers are almost always the same, for no other reason then it's what he's memorized in his own mind. We have asked him to try to think about what he's grateful for and try to include more in his prayers. So this is Jakob's bedtime prayer this evening:
"Father in Heaven, thank you for our food. Thank you for our world. Thank you for what everything in the world can do. Thank you for our challenges. Please bless all of the wars, that good will win in all of the wars."
During lunch Jakob thanked Heavenly Father for our country. I believe I have a very patriotic son on my hands. And as for him thanking God for our challenges, I only WISH that he's heard me say that in one of my prayers. It's all him. Every thought and every word. Okay, I guess we taught him to be thankful for his food, he must be VERY thankful if he's still saying that at bedtime;)
Tonight I was giving Jakob a mini Family Home Evening lesson. I was basically going over the primary lesson I had taught on Sunday. We learned about the creation of the world and more specifically about trees, plants, and flowers. So I asked Jakob, "Why did God put trees on the earth?" Jakob responds, "So we could have food." I ask, "What kind of food?" He immediately answers with, "you know, pizza, bananas" I start laughing and then he realizes what he said and he can't stop laughing. It was just one of those sweet moments.
Jakob says the most unique prayers that I've ever heard come out of a five year old boys mouth. The first part of his prayers are almost always the same, for no other reason then it's what he's memorized in his own mind. We have asked him to try to think about what he's grateful for and try to include more in his prayers. So this is Jakob's bedtime prayer this evening:
"Father in Heaven, thank you for our food. Thank you for our world. Thank you for what everything in the world can do. Thank you for our challenges. Please bless all of the wars, that good will win in all of the wars."
During lunch Jakob thanked Heavenly Father for our country. I believe I have a very patriotic son on my hands. And as for him thanking God for our challenges, I only WISH that he's heard me say that in one of my prayers. It's all him. Every thought and every word. Okay, I guess we taught him to be thankful for his food, he must be VERY thankful if he's still saying that at bedtime;)
Monday, March 01, 2010
PICTURES! PICTURES! PICTURES!
I haven't posted photos for a LONG time! We sold our really nice camera just before Christmas. So that's part of the reason. But the real reason is I just haven't felt up to it. But I felt up to it today. SO ready, set, GO! Here's a bunch!
BEING CUTE AND SILLY AT HOME!
CALEB AND JAKOB WEARING THE SPECIAL SWEATERS AUNT HEATHER KNIT FOR THEM.
COUSIN VICTORIA'S BAPTISM.
FIXING THE BROKEN WATER PIPE: We had a pipe break and within an hour after calling for help we had a neighbor bring in his tractor, a brother (Erik) who dropped everything to come and help, and another neighbor who came to share his expertice. A wonderful blessing!!
PLAYING IN THR MUD.
A VISIT TO UNCLE ERIK'S HOUSE
BEING CUTE AND SILLY AT HOME!
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
CALEB AND JAKOB WEARING THE SPECIAL SWEATERS AUNT HEATHER KNIT FOR THEM.
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
COUSIN VICTORIA'S BAPTISM.
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| From January-February 2010 |
FIXING THE BROKEN WATER PIPE: We had a pipe break and within an hour after calling for help we had a neighbor bring in his tractor, a brother (Erik) who dropped everything to come and help, and another neighbor who came to share his expertice. A wonderful blessing!!
 |
| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
PLAYING IN THR MUD.
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
A VISIT TO UNCLE ERIK'S HOUSE
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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| From January-February 2010 |
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