Anxiety Reality and the Plan to Triumph!

So, a few people around me, and those whom I usually talk with on the phone almost daily have noticed a change in my normal routines and attitudes. Let me share a few of the reasons for the change. Here are a few excerpts from my personal blog:

"When I gave birth to my twins and then lost them, it was no surprise that I was in a state of deep introspection, mild depression, anxiety, grieving, physical, emotional, mental, and all encompassing pain. All weirdness including good, bad, and very ugly days and moments were completely acceptable, explainable, and even expected. I was grieving. And gradually I gathered the scattered pieces, fit them back together again, and called it functioning.

So what do I call it now?" 

I went on to list my symptoms and how they all had come back into my life to haunt me. I will spare you the details. However, in order to make any sense at all I will list the reasons plain and simple for you:

• I am overweight for my body frame.
• I am addicted to sweets.
• I lack exercise in my life for many reasons.
• HCG Diet didn't work, Gluten Free change didn't continue to help, switching to non-hormonal birth control didn't help.
• Stopped taking Anti-Depressants. (Yes, I know I've said I wouldn't do it again. Well, I did! Sorry!)

So, all good, bad and ugly reality of my world is in living color at the moment. It is no question that my illness is partially heredity. However, I have wounds and issues that I need to take care of. They have festered long enough and I choose to heal them NOW! 

I'll let you in on my world on a Bad Day, or a Bad Moment. This is what happens to me when I band-aid my problems and forget they exisit:

- Personal Blog- "Let's talk about daily life in my shoes at the moment:

One Word: Yo-Yo! Uuuuuup -Doooowwwn. Uuuuuup -Dooooown. Wanna Ride, really - it's fun?! Uh, not really though!

Today the struggles I faced was Social Anxiety, General Anxiety. A feeling of not being comfortable within my own skin. Irritability and critical judgement: "if only that girl would STOP clicking her pen! I'm going insane!!" I am going to KILL those dogs if they don't stop barking!"  I can't believe he just sat down to that game, dinner's done and the table is a disaster -glare, huf-puf." "There is No Way we'll buy THAT for him. It's not Good for him... Oh, it's for his migraine, sorry!!!" "I'm So sick of ME! Please let me hide somewhere before I cause any more damage!" I can't stand the thought of weaning JJ to a bottle full time. It's makes me really sad, and it's more work. - Ugg, I really hate my jug size, maybe weaning is a good thing after all. Oh shoot I need to warm the bottle. JUNK!" "Jakob's talking a lot about my Gluten Free Diet I hope I'm not creating anxiety within him. Jakob's been complaining of sudden stomach aches. I can't decide if it's food or anxiety related. I am afraid that it might be anxiety... What if I pass on my issues through genetics or example? Good Heavens!" "Caleb's diaper rash is terrible! What foods cause this and how can I possibly find out and keep him away from them?" "JJ's still rubbing his ear, could it be infected!?" "How in the world can Leif enjoy my company, I'm such a mess!" "

I am revealing these realities in hopes that it helps my loved ones understand my weirdness a little better. Don't be repelled, just know that I'm working on getting better. Most of the time, I'm mostly cheerful and my normal self. 

In hopes that this post might help someone else struggling with Anxiety I will share some of the things that I am   doing or plan to do to help me feel the best that I can.

Mental and Spiritual

• Believe it or not, Home School has helped. It's not always easy. But there is a peace that has come. Peace is good.
• Kinesiology (Muscle Testing, Touch for Health). Leif is polishing up on his Massage Therapy skills so he can help me.
• I am reading and will follow Karol Truman's book Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
• I am re-reading and applying several of the helpful tips and tools given in Patricia Pott's book My Journey from Darkness to Light. 
• I will be taking Clarocet ERT. This is a natural supplement to help with Anxiety and Mild Depression. This company has several supplement options available including supplements for children. 
• I will also be using Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy Natural Stress Relief. This product has over 100 4-5 star reviews. I look forward to having it's help!
• I will be walking regularly throughout the week. 
• I will express gratitude openly and more often.

Physical

• I will be walking regularly throughout the week. 
• Enzyme Supplements. So far the GlutenEase and Digest Gold have made a noticeable difference in my daily life. So I will continue those and add Lypo Gold in hopes for more improvement. -Take the Enzyme Deficiency Test to find out which enzymes you might need. Enzyme Deficiency is a common condition that isn't often taken care of well enough. I love this test because they give you a lot of good information about the enzymes and why and how they can help. 
• Professional Botanicals: InDigest. 
• MutiVitamin