Processing

I wrote the previous post about change the night of/before my grandpa's passing. I thought those were the "big" changes that would be of note at the time. Then my dad called me the next morning (before I posted it) and so many new changes came up that I haven't posted it until now. So it's outdated, yet still applicable.

I have so very very much on my mind and soul tonight. I have a lot of historical posting that I need to do. But tonight is just a "Thinking Corner" kind of night. I really need to just process... So here it is: Processing...

*sigh* Where to begin? and What to share? Those are the first questions... This post will feel fragmented.
Sorry.

We're starting home school on Monday. I'm really looking forward to it. We got some of the curriculum (Moving Beyond The Pages) in the mail today. Jakob started flipping through the books, my favorite moment was when I heard him say to himself, "I am going to LOVE home school!" Yes, I believe we all will.  Our home is more at peace when we can roll with the waves of life together rather then sailing the storm in separate ships. I pray that this continues to be so.

Leif has completed the HCG diet. I am very proud of him!! Me and numbers don't get along, but I believe he lost around 30 pounds in the 3+ weeks that he followed the diet. He is now on the maintenance phase and doing well. He looks great and he feels better (especially now that he is able to eat more of a variety.) My theory of the HCG Diet causing a lower serotonine level in the body proved true again this time around for Leif. By the end of the HCG phase his mood was lower then normal. Not terrible. But I am an observant person when it comes to health and nutrition. Now that he is eating more carbohydrates and natural sugars (sugars in fruits and veggies) he seems to be at a more regular mood level. It is very interesting to me. I'm glad he's feeling better and I'm glad he's taken the whole thing seriously and he's lost the weight he wanted to.

Health: Such a deep word...
I finally decided to meet with a phyciatrist. My appointment ended up being the day after my grandpa passed away (appropriate.) It's is rare in my life for me to get a clear diagnosis from a professional. He gave me a diagnosis. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.) No real surprise to me. Just a name for the list of symptoms. When I am really unwell and unmedicated, I show signs of GAD (General Anxiety Disorder.) Again, no real surprise. Just a name for some of my weirdness.
It is what I do with the names that will make the difference. These "names" are what have caused my emotional, physical, and mental, dis-ease. I am on a mission to erase them from my world, with their lessons being the only residue. In time, I truly believe that they will be of the past. When? How long is the journey? Ahhh, that is a good question. One I will try not to answer or focus on. Step by step, that is my answer.

So what is the plan?
Well, the water I tread in is a bit too deep and unclear for the 'traditional medicine' route. Though I will not avoid it all together. I will simply include some of the holistic/natural medicine approaches as well. Today I went to the St. George Natural Healing and Wellness Center. They use a huge variety of healing and diagnostic modalities (Fascinating!)  - WAIT: I need to put a note to my readers here, Please DO NOT send me or speak warnings, jokes, or anything un-supportive about my natural medicine route! I do not have it in me to just brush it off. Just follow Thumper's wise father's advise when he said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." - 
During our first visit the doctor used muscle and energy testing to determine which systems in my body are under the most stress. The results were fascinating, but not surprising. Digestion (gluten intolerance), and severe Emotional Blocks throughout the body, again no surprise. First Steps: Herbs and a gluten free diet to heal the digestive track. Biofeedback/Brainwave Therapy for the emotional and stress release. It will take a while (not too long though, I should feel results sooner then later.) It will cost money. Ugg. But not outrageous amounts. Leif and I both need some quality healing, it is time!


I should get some sleep. But before I do, GUESS WHAT!!?? Leif and his parents bought me a DISHWASHER!!! Isn't that AWESOME!!


Yes, I will close on that note. I am so grateful and so excited!