I have thought about writing several times in the last week. Some of the times were about how good I was feeling and about all of the things that were contributing to the Goodness. Other times I could have written about how not good I was feeling and all of the reasons why. Instead, I just chose silence. Looking back, I should have celebrated the good. Not very much good in looking back though, except a lesson in not withholding gratitude. I'll work on that next time.
This time, I'll just write.
My kitchen is clean tonight. The huge majority of my dishes are washed and some are waiting to be put away from my DISHWASHER! I SO Love that little contraption. I met my goals with homeschooling today. I went walking (Thank you Dear Walking Buddy!) I made dinner tonight. I bathed both little ones in my freshly cleaned sink (Thank you Love for the help!) I made time after bedtime routine to give Jakob extra snuggle time tonight (Thanks again Love for the little encouragement, and for cleaning up the yucky diaper accident on the floor.) My kitchen floor is vacuumed (thank you Jakob and Leif!) Summer plans and schedules are in the making, I feel good about them and I hope we can bring them all to a reality. Life Plans are in the making and I feel really good about them (Leif, you Amaze me!)
Weight Watchers is going well. I am loosing weight and gaining better habits! Cinnamon (1 gram per meal) seems to help my sweets craving Tremendously! Enzymes have been helping overall as well. Clarocet makes just enough noticeable difference to continue to take it. That's all I wanted from it. Karol Truman's book is very interesting and I believe much of what she says is very true. Some of it I feel able to apply, other things I might have to gradually implement as life progresses. However, I haven't finished her book yet. I wish I could fit more time in for reading all of the books that I have on my shelf at the moment. Oh well, step by step.
Many days I can feel the progress I have made. Many days I feel like I am still a mess. Most days are a combination of the two. So I continue on with hope of peace. Honestly, I just feel bad for my family. I know that I do a lot to teach them, love them, encourage them. But the moments when I do the absolute opposite of those things seem to be too often and they make a deep mark. Oh how I pray that somehow they will make it through without too much baggage on my account. There you go, that's me being Brutally honest.
In a world where life isn't complicated or bogged down with responsibility, I think I would declare a "Mama Retreat." I would go somewhere for ten days. Somewhere beautiful and peaceful. I would bring Leif with me (If he wanted to come. I very much enjoy his company.) However, I would spend the whole morning and day by myself. I would write. In my minds eye I have created a therapy through writing plan. I would spend my days writing, working on my relationship with Jesus Christ, and napping. Then I would spend my evenings with my precious husband. Six to Ten Days... It would be a start anyway, right? It would be Heavenly!
Monday, April 11, 2011
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4 comments:
Cheer up, Lena! I was having one of those parenting moments with Kaytlyn just the other day. She told me it is my fault she is NEVER going to be cool because I am so mean! I felt bad so I told her if I messed her up too bad, I would help her pay for counseling when she got older! She stomped off to bed and the next day told me that she had thought about it and that perhaps she had overreacted a bit...close enough to a real apology to make me smile!
Mandy, That is AWESOME! Thanks for the smile!:)
Oh that retreat sounds absolutely HEAVENLY! I love your brutal honesty. We should all be more honest with ourselves and others. We all struggle. Those who say they don't aren't being truthful. It's wonderful to learn from you--your successes and failures. Hope you hear more of your Weight Watchers success. I did it too and loved it! It worked wonders for me inside and out. Hope it's doing the same for you.
Thanks Julie! You're an inspiration to me as well. I will be taking more classes this semester and I'll be gleaning wisdom from your blog on that subject, as well as everything else.
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