Parenting is like Ice Cream

Lena Baron

August 12, 2011

GRADE: 50/50

“This was one of the most original metaphors I have ever read! I loved your outline of the history of ice cream and your comparison to parenting. Well done!”

Parenting is like Ice Cream

Over the last couple of weeks, I have pondered this assignment and tried to come up with a metaphor for parenting that I could incorporate several of the different concepts taught in this unit with. My first conclusion was, Parenting is like trying to read a map that has been written in multiple languages, none of which you speak. However, I chose a metaphor that covers something in which I am far more familiar with rather than speaking bilingually, which I don’t do. The metaphor I have chosen is Parenting is like Ice Cream. We can go with the hard stuff or the cold, stick with what our parents gave us, or choose a different kind. Perhaps, the most important factor to weigh is what kind of ice cream really fits what you like and what you want. Then you have to consider what is best for your fellow ice cream eaters. Grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream, slow down for a minute, and let me tell you how Parenting is like Ice Cream.

Research Can be a Benefit

According to our text, “Historically, parenting has been viewed as a “sacred cow”, meaning that extended family members or individuals in society didn’t intervene in a parenting relationship… This assumption meant that research within the family structure wasn’t valued and there was nothing new to learn about families because everyone had all the answers. Newer more contemporary views on the family rely on education and research to improve family functioning.”(Chapter 11) The history of ice cream followed a similar pattern as parenting research. For example, up until the 1980’s the ice cream flavors consisted of the very basics, vanilla, chocolate, and the occasional strawberry. In 1983 Cookies n’ Cream came on the market and due to the new excitement and high demand it was quickly followed up with Cookie Dough Ice Cream and the list of creative ice cream concoctions has only grown since then.

To Be, or Not to Be, like Our Parents: That is the Question

The new found variety in ice cream flavors resembles that of the newly defined parenting philosophies and roles of today. Often times a person will naturally choose the same flavors of ice cream as an adult that they were given as a child. Just as a new parent often cares for their young child in the same way they were cared for as children. (Chapter 11) However, there often comes a time in a parent’s life when they have to define their roles and philosophy as a parent. Just as many people prefer hard ice cream to soft served ice cream, many parents can be defined as having a hard-core parenting style such as Authoritarian or a softer approach such as Authoritative parents.(Chapter 14)

Decisions – Decisions - Decisions

When a person chooses a particular ice cream, they have to make several decisions before they choose their ice cream. They have to decide if they want hard or soft, what base flavor they want, if they want anything else mixed with the ice cream, if they want to top their ice cream with anything else, and so on. Parents today are faced with similar decisions such as, how many children they want, how they will manage financially, what type of childcare they will use if necessary, how they will disciple their children, and what values they want to instill within their children. We read within our text that in order for parents to best make their decisions “there are a few things parents need to develop an understanding of as they think about the future of their children. The first is having a level of personal self-awareness. Parents who understand their own strengths and weaknesses have a better working knowledge of their children and what is acceptable.” (Chapter 13)

It Really Can Be So Much Fun!

Eating a bowl of ice cream is so much more enjoyable when you include a little time to play. As an ice cream enthusiast myself, I find it very enjoyable to share my favorite ice cream with friends and family as we play a game or watch a movie. Parenting, like ice cream, is a lot more enjoyable when you include a little playtime. “Adults who are trying to slow down the pace of life recognize the importance of play in the lives of their children. They value the time they get to spend with their children on the floor engaged in active play, or outside exploring new environments.”(Chapter 14)

Slow Down! Care and Observation is required.

During the 8 years that I have been married there has been more than one occasion when I open the refrigerator in the morning only to find that through carelessness and distraction the ice cream that was so enjoyable the night before is now a soupy mess. Instead of putting it back in the freezer, it was put in the fridge instead. It is important to remember that parenting, like ice cream, needs to be properly cared for. “Taking time for a deep breath can eliminate a lot of frustration and feelings of being frazzled. Deliberately thinking about the things that need to be accomplished and developing a plan, and consciously deciding not to rush, can prevent the frustration and stress from creeping in and taking over a situation. (Chapter 11)

Anyone who has a very favorite flavor of ice cream knows that it is not easy to stop at just one scoop, once a week. Parenting, like ice cream, often requires more then the minimum. “It isn’t really a matter of quantity time versus quality time. Children need both. Parents need to have special interactions with their children that focus on communication, fun, learning, and connection. They also need to have these times often. Children simply need parents, and the more they are enjoying the company of one another, the stronger the likelihood of a secure attachment.”(Chapter 11) It is a fact that a consistent amount of rich and creamy ice cream eaten in large quantities can inevitably become attached to you. In fact, just in the study done about secure attachment, a person could end up feeling like they are always carrying a baby in a snuggly. J (Chapter 11)

Exercising Patience through Quiet Availability

Once a parent has secured a healthy attachment with their child, it is not always easy to sit back and allow the child to stretch their wings and explore. Parenting, like ice cream, does require quiet availability. If a person purchases a carton of ice cream and eats the whole carton within the same day. This could be considered on the “over indulgence” side of things, just as a parent who follows their child around like a shadow, rather then stepping back when necessary and allowing the child to come to them and ask for help or feedback could establish a negative pattern. Sometimes it is necessary to allow the ice cream to sit in the freezer untouched even when you really want to dig in. (Chapter 14)

Creating Your Own Flavor

Ultimately, parents create their own flavor and flare of ice cream. By creating special times such as family rituals, traditions, and values, they swirl ribbons and chucks of candies and fruits into their own mix and through trial and error end up with their own personal “family favorite.”(Chapter 15)

And that, my friend, is how parenting, is like ice cream.