Stress Management Assignment 2: Anger - Fear - Hope - Faith - Balance

Lena Baron

October 23, 2011

Stress Management 3400

Score 20/20

Comments: Unavailable

Assignment 2

Anger – Fear – Hope – Faith - Balance

PART ONE:

While reviewing my list of the top 10 stresses in my life I found that the majority of my stress revolves around fear. I have some anger issues. But even those are wrapped up with fear.

Because my issues are so intertwined between fear and anger I will list them together and explain which emotion has led to the other. 

Issue One: “I wish I could either heal, and be a normal healthy mother, or just accept my ailments 100% and learn to work around them and find pure happiness.” I am angry at myself for my weaknesses and afraid that because of me my family will be negatively affected.

Issue two: “I wish my mother was a nurturing mother.” This issue is mostly wrapped around anger. I am angry at my mother for way too many things to name here. However, along with this anger I fear that I will live with this anger forever rather than finding a way to purge it out of me and forgive her, preferably before she dies.

Issue Three: “I wish I could control my sweet tooth.” Again, I am angry at myself for my weakness. Yet, wrapped right in with this anger is fear that I will gain weight as well as teach my children bad habits and possibly instill addictions into their lives. Which leads me to be angry at my parents because I feel that they helped create this habit within me as a child by routinely feeding me “beddy –by snacks” and ice cream rewards.

PART TWO:

What is an optimist? An optimist is Cory ten Boom and Viktor Frankl. People who in the face of a challenge or a crisis naturally, and sometimes by choice, find the positive in the situation. An optimist is someone who finds the good side in everyone and everything. The glass is never half empty, it’s always half full.  A pessimist is someone who focuses on the negative side of the spectrum, someone who prepares for the worst, and warns others of the danger in store. Personally, I find President Obama a great example of a pessimist. I feel that he is constantly warning the country about the next upcoming “crisis.” For a pessimist the glass is never full enough.

            When I asked myself whether I am an optimist or a pessimist, I found myself somewhat disturbed by my answer. I am a roller coaster. My self-image is pessimistic. Yet, when I am faced with a crisis I take on the faith that I have and I am optimistic. As a parent, I teach my children to look on the bright side. But I worry for them as a pessimist would. Fascinating! I think that the imbalance comes from my lack of good self-esteem and my faith in God. From experience, I know that He can bring about miracles. But the pessimism comes when I start to focus inward. Unfortunately and fortunately, lately I have focused inward more often than not, which means I have felt more pessimism. I fight against pessimism. But I need to come to a balance.

PART THREE:

            When taking the Stress-Resistant personality Survey I found myself recalculating my score over and over (again the pessimistic thoughts.) My score was 47. A score of 30 or higher indicates that a person most likely has traits associated with the Hardy, Survivor, and calculated risk-taker personality. The score shouldn’t really surprise me. I do carry many of these traits within my personality. The key is to find the best within all of these and refine them. So how do I do this?

PART FOUR:

The power to change is within my thoughts which will lead me to change my behavior. I have taken an inventory of my most common thought processes, the thoughts that are on repeat. The most common is: “I am so tired.”  I find myself thinking this not only when I feel fatigued but also when I feel flooded emotionally. I might have a strong negative memory, or argue with my kids, a negative phone conversation, or an overwhelming schedule, and the only words that come to mind over and over is “I am so tired.” Sometimes I will force myself to finish the thought by explaining what I am really feeling. This at least helps me to complete the thought and acknowledge how I am really feeling. However, I know there is a lot more that needs to be done in order for me to heal my self-esteem and bring out the best in my personality.

I have taken a few steps recently to try and help me begin to change the pattern of my thoughts. One of the first things I have done is to cling to any and all hope I have within me. Hope tends to ease fear. It also leads to my faith in God. I have hope. Sometimes in the face of the unknown, that is what gets me through. Also, my husband has skillfully recorded a few different Words of Affirmation recordings for me to help me reverse some of my thought patterns. This has been surprisingly helpful. I find that if I listen to them as I fall asleep I wake up feeling the optimism from them in the morning and then I bring them back to mind when needs be.  Another way that I have helped bring more optimism into my thoughts is through music. I have turned music on more throughout my day, music that inspires me or sooths me, whatever I might need. This has helped me as well as my children.

Reconstructing self-esteem is no easy task. By being aware of my thoughts and reconstructing them to be more optimistic I hope to eliminate the fear and anger that has entwined itself within my soul and accentuate the positive within my personality.