The Woman I Will Become

I feel grateful for many things today. I'll also let you in on a little secret. I feel proud of myself today too:) I've often thought that a sign of confidence and inner peace is someone who takes time to get out of their comfort zone to spend time with no one else but themselves... and they enjoy their time alone. I don't mean finding an afternoon to snuggle up on your bed to read a good book. I mean going to a movie or out to lunch. Alone. And feeling comfortable in your own skin with no one to talk to or be with.

I have never been this person before. I often define myself by who I am with and who wants to be with me. However, before Leif left for school I knew that this was the time to find the confidence and inner peace that I have admired in others for myself. Now is the time to rearrange things so that I am my own best friend and God is my number one source of peace and companionship. And so today I took a step in the right direction.

Thanks to a wonderful mother in law who encouraged me to pick up the phone and talk to people if I need help instead of relying on text messaging and Facebook, and to a good friend who called just at the right time today for me to miss her call and force me to act on this advise,  I was able to ask this good friend to watch my boys for a few hours so I could take myself out to lunch and then to the library.

Thank you dear FayLynn for your wise advise. And thank you dear Michelle for you invaluable willingness to help me with my wild little angels. This afternoon was wonderful! I treated myself to my favorite salad at Houston's and even indulged in a piece of chocolate cream pie. MMM! I took a book with me that I've been trying to read for days. I ended up reading enough to find out that I don't like it and was thrilled to know that I had the time alone to go find a better book. But the best part was that I caught a glimpse of someone today. She felt loved. But she didn't require the love she felt in order to feel peace and confidence in the world around her. She is the woman I will become one day.