Sunshine through the Storm Clouds

Sitting here at my kitchen table eating dark chocolate M&Ms- Listening to Lady Antebellum on Pandora - Lights are out - Kids are finally asleep - Air conditioning humming in the background finally says its under 80 degrees in the house - It's my time - Time to try to breathe - Time to try to wrap my head around life and its realities - I put dinner on the table tonight, strapped the Littles in their highchairs - and walked out the door.

Walking - Away - Not too far - Just Away - Away from the flying Hot Pocket - Away from the screams - Away from the spilled breakfast cereal still on the floor - Away from the broken A/C in the new mini van - Away from the broken Wii (A.K.A Netflix) remotes - Away from the emptiness of my evenings - Away

And then I looked up. I looked up and I saw the sun shine through the storm clouds. And just for a moment, I knew - I knew that through all of the storms - Through all of the loneliness - Through all of the disappointments - Beauty still exists - We just have to look up! And some how - Some day - Some way - All will be well. - All will be well!

Updates:

• Leif came home for the 4th of July and we had a wonderful time together in beautiful Alton, Utah with good family and friends, and most importantly, we were together.
• My doctor called me to tell me that there isn't an endocrinologist anywhere within a five hours drive. But he called one and was told to have me get an MRI and Mammogram. I have to go to Flagstaff for those tests, 3 hours south. A good excuse to go see Leif. 
• One of Leif's roommates moved out and left an empty room for the last two weeks of July. We took the opportunity as a blessing and I will take the boys and we will be with Leif for two weeks. So Grateful!
• Unfortunately, the Air Conditioner in our new van went out this week. I will be driving without A/C for a while. But, I am grateful for the four wheels and engine that gets me around. So Grateful!
• I can't wait to get away. I need to get away and back to the other half of my heart. 
• Can't Wait!