A Silent Thief

My last post was a Family Update. While writing I said there was still a lot happening "In between the lines." I thought I'd write about some of those things.

Today I emailed and talked with Caleb's teacher and the Special Ed teacher. We've met several times and updates and game planning is not unusual with us. Today we talked about medication. A couple months ago Caleb got to a point where he would gradually get madder and madder (mostly when he didn't get his way.) and he started throwing things (canned food, chairs, scissors, etc.) being hurtful and destructive. We finally had to ask for medication until we can get in to see other specialists with other ideas. Problem is, the meds help for a little while and then we have to adjust them. But they make him tired if there's too much and yada yada yada. So we are working on finding a good dose and a steady plan.

It makes us sad when we see him asleep from medication...  But we know the alternative and that is Really Sad too! Especially because we know the fun, silly, happy, smile and light that Caleb is most of the time. It's like a battle to keep that light. Like something is trying to steal it away... It's Really Scary!

We also talked about tinted glasses to block out florescent lights, headphones and earmuffs to block out hums and chatter, coats becoming wings, car seat options for bus rides, and the Daunting Task of behavior modification, not just life skills training.

This morning I worked through waves of powerful fatigue and put dinner in the crock pot. It made a huge difference in our evening. My plan from now on will be to feed the boys dinner right when they get home from school at 4:00. From there, Caleb and I will go right outside. I have no idea how we're going to survive the winter... But I'll focus on Now. Being outside in nature is Caleb's element, it's therapy for him. And he craves having "jobs". So every day he runs out to gather the eggs. I am going to add the task of going (with me) to gather the mail. Then we'll walk around the Ranch to make sure everything is in check. Today we ended up walking completely around the Pond, behind the Arena where we daydreamed about where we would house different animals if we could, and then we looped through the side yard and filled in a hole that's been waiting to be filled with dirt for over a month. By the time we got home everyone was ready for a quiet moment. Within ten minutes I found all of the boys in the living room sitting on the couches reading books. - Peaceful sigh - .

I won't shatter the moment with details of Caleb and JJ suddenly coming up missing after the sun went down and then showing up with a flashlight and a grin, "we just wanted to see who was at The Barns," he says.  Grrr! Okay, I shared the details. The thing was, I wouldn't have even know they were missing if the door wasn't left wide open. I thought they were upstairs! Note to Self: We need door sensor chimes.

There is still so much more I could write about. And I want to because it helps me process things and be able to recall them later. But I am so tired.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm Tired.  So I will say good night for now.