Every once in a while I need to take a minute to remind myself what causes my physical ailments to, and to find he words to explain how it feels to walk with them.
I have three separate conditions that seem to intertwine themselves at times and make the overall outcome beyond description.
First, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. CFS is caused by the Epstein Barr Virus that lays dormant in my system and flares at times and rages at others. Epstein Barr Virus is the Virus that causes Mono. So in essence, you could think of this "syndrome" as an endless case of Mono without the contagious factor added to it.
Second, I have a Mystery Condition that at times is classified as Fibromyalgia. But more often is classified as an unknown Auto Immune Disease. It most often shows it's symptoms within my Joints, my Gut, or in my Brain.
Third, I have a lovely case of Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. This is somewhat the result of genetics and most often inflamed by the stress and frustration of the first two conditions previously discussed.
Sometimes I am able to wrap all of these conditions up nicely and carry them in an invisible "backpack". that isn't noticed by those around me and is easily managed by myself and my family. Other times these conditions creep out and become a monster of their own that takes over my every day life and functioning. When this happens life can feel so overwhelming I can hardly breathe.
That is how I feel at this very moment.
But feeling like this is absolutely not an option for very long. Minutes... Maybe hours... And then I must pull myself together. Call upon the Powers of Heaven and force myself to take the steps that must be taken to perform the tasks and chores that must be done to keep the boat afloat.
