WRITTEN 2013/14. IT IS FUN TO READ THIS NOW THAT JAKOB IS ALMOST 20.
Jakob is a bright and happy nine year old. He always has a story to share and is eager to learn about the things that he finds interesting or that he is good at. These things would be science, World history, US history, history of war, military weapons and aircraft, making experiments, and sports. Each of our sons has a family nickname. Jakob's nickname is "Radar" because he is always on constant alert, always listening and paying attention to every conversation and thing happening around him.... Unless, he has gone into his own world. When that happens, we can consider the Radar out of signal.
SOCIALLY
Socially, Jakob is polite and well mannered. He respects authority but questions his parents, especially his mother. Jakob follows rules to the letter and to an extreme. He becomes very upset when his peers or siblings choose to disobey the rules or skirt them a little. He is always in monitor mode where he feels the duty to make sure everyone is following the plan. This is a big problem socially for Jakob. Jakob is just now starting to realize that his monitoring and admonishing is very unpopular with his peers and causes reprimanding from his teachers. But he finds it almost impossible to drop the behavior if it is triggered. He feels angry that they get/do what he wants to do when they go against the rules but he doesn't when he chooses the right. So he's jealous and irritated. He is also perplexed at how the kids can even think about breaking the rules. It just doesn't really make sense to him as an option.
Jakob is also a constant talker. If he is not watching TV, playing computer, or in a place where it is strictly against the rules to talk, he will be talking! Sometimes we wonder if Jakob says every thought that flows through his mind. And if he is telling a story, asking a question, or stating a fact, it will be drawn out and very wordy. He lacks the understanding of the social cues that show that a person isn't interested in what he is talking about. And if he recognizes them, he will either completely ignore them and continue talking, or become flustered and upset because he doesn't know how to shorten what he is trying to say.
Jakob has his own sense of humor. He struggles to understand or "get" a joke or a witty comment. But when he finally "gets" it he seems to file it away and then he tries to mimic what he learned later on.
Some how Jakob has been able to make friends here in Missouri. During the previous school years we lived in Arizona. He was home schooled for Kindergarten and then we recognized that he required the socialization and life skills that only public school can teach. During first and second grade Jakob was seriously bullied. Different bullies both years. He was only able to make friends with a few kids and only one close friendship with a girl whom he grew up with as a baby and was a close family friend who had similar strengths and struggles as he does. Jakob has found great peace at his current school. He has made friends and isn't bullied as far as we know. Unfortunately, this year Jakob's struggles in school lean more on attention and academic struggles.
ATTENTION and ACADEMIC
Jakob is below age level on his ability to stay on task and organize himself, his space, and his things. Along with being in a constant disorganized state he is unable to focus on himself and the task at hand. He is a smart child so it is often surprising to learn about the academic struggles he faces. His handwriting can be unreadable. He is behind on memorizing his multiplication facts and yet he is good at the other math assignments. He struggles tremendously with spelling words. Yet he is above average in his reading skills. He can write a very entertaining creative writing story. But it takes him double the time to finish it and he often runs out of time before he can even finish all of the steps in the process before it is due. And then, he will often forget to take the final draft to school. Jakob's teacher will often write to Jakob on his school work. She will often tell him to Slow Down! It seems as if Jakob is either thinking way too hard on figuring out the answer or he is blowing through it because he thinks he already knows the answer. And if that isn't the problem it is that he is so distracted by something else that he can't focus. His teacher has tried multiple things to help him. The most helpful have been headphones to try to block out some sound.
Jakob is unable to pay attention to detail without great effort. Whether it is getting dressed, running an errand, or working on schoolwork, it takes effort to get everything done right and in order. It is very common for Jakob to walk out of the bathroom with a shirt inside out and backwards and possibly even pants on that are two sizes too short or at the least tucked into his socks. And if the shirt is buttoned, guaranteed it will need to be re-buttoned properly. If Jakob is sent to go find something on a shelf, more often then not he will not be able to find it. It's as if everything on the shelf is a blur and he can't find just one thing on the shelf.
ROUTINE
The only thing that has to stay organized in Jakob's life is "the plan." Whatever the plan is for the day, the activity, the chore, it can not change. And if it does, it will be very upsetting for Jakob! Especially if it is changed because of someone else's negative behavior. That could set off a trigger for Jakob that is hard to undo for the day. Jakob doesn't often show his negative side to anyone else except his family. I have yet to find out how he "shows" his feelings when he gets upset at school. But at home, Jakob is able to relax and let everything out. And every week there is always at least one day when everything comes boiling out. Once Jakob hits this point he will start to scream and retreat. He will retreat into a room alone and ball up in the fetal position and cry in a moaning tone. He will also mumble to himself and talk his feelings out. We usually let Jakob simmer down for a while and then whichever parent is the most mentally stable and empathetic at the time will go in and talk things through with Jakob. Jakob's view of reality, and right and wrong is often unreasonable. He sees his point of view and nothing can change it. But so far we have been able to still stay "the boss" as parents in the household. But it is becoming a lot more difficult as Jakob gets older and "smarter." Jakob has daily tantrums and arguing but we are usually able to avoid meltdowns... until we can't.
SENSORY
For the first 7 years of Jakob's life he struggled with unusual things that for lack of a better word, we called "weirdness'." When Jakob was a baby he would scream and cry if he heard live orchestra music. He was terrified of people with black skin. He couldn't take a shower or play in the sprinklers outside without screaming. When Jakob was in his first year of school his teacher said that one day Jakob sat in the middle of a group of students with his hands over his ears and just screamed. Whenever Jakob started a new sport or a swimming lesson we had to warn the teachers about Jakob's low pain threshold and explain that fainting was a very real possibility with him.... Falling while walking, extreme fear of heights, heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, and tastes. It all became a roller coaster of our every day life with Jakob. Then it became the same but a little different with each of Jakob's siblings as they came along. It wasn't until Jakob was 7 years old that we learned about Sensory Processing and the disorders that can happen with the senses in the body. It was validating to finally know that we weren't just making things up but that others were dealing with the same weirdness'. Today Jakob has learned to cope with many of his sensory struggles. But some still are overwhelming.
Jakob has a couple of MUST HAVE'S in his life. One is a Trampoline and the other is "Special Time." Which is simply quiet time alone where he can play his own games in his head often while jumping on a trampoline making weapon sounds, jabbering to himself, and tossing around a stick - rock - toy jet- whatever might be the thing of the day.
2024: THE REST IS MORE OF THE DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ADD AND AUTISM. WITHOUT JAKOB DETAILS
Inattention
a. Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other
activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate).
b. Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused
during lectures, conversations, or reading lengthy writings).
c. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (e.g., mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of
any obvious distraction).
d. Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the
workplace (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked; fails to finish schoolwork,
household chores, or tasks in the workplace).
e. Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty
keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized, work; poor time management; tends to fail
to meet deadlines)
f. Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g.,
schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, or
reviewing lengthy papers).
g. Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets,
keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, or mobile telephones)
h. Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (for older adolescents and adults, may include unrelated
thoughts).
i. Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning
calls, paying bills, keeping appointments)
A2. Hyperactivity and Impulsivity: Six or more of the following symptoms of have been present for at least 6
months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that impact directly on social and
academic/occupational activities.
Hyperactivity
a. Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.
b. Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the
classroom, office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining seated)
c. Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate. (In adolescents or adults, may be limited
to feeling restless).
d. Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly.
e. Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor" (e.g., is unable or uncomfortable being still for an
extended time, as in restaurants, meetings, etc; may be experienced by others as being restless and
difficult to keep up with).
f. Often talks excessively.
g. Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences and
“jumps the gun” in conversations, cannot wait for next turn in conversation)
h. Often has trouble waiting his or her turn (e.g., while waiting in line).
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