So Much More Than PMS: PMDD.

Do you ever wonder if you have multiple personalities? I have. Instead, I have what is called PMDD. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. IT means within the 30 days of my menstrual cycle I litterally cycle through 5 different stages of being. When it's really bad, I do wonder if it feels similar to a Dissociative Identity Disorder.... Below I have written about MY TYPICAL CYCLE.  Starting now, I will label each post I write with the Stage that I'm in. I do this because as my cycle evolves, so will my writing voice...   It's quite a fascinating phenomenon, really. Albeit, hellish at times!

STAGE ONE (DAYS 1-6): Are a bloody migraine-filled mess. I try hard not to schedule anything outside of the house. For that matter, I try not to have to get out of bed for the first few days of this week because of the mess.  

STAGE TWO (DAYS 7-13): The bloody fog has lifted and lightened by this week. This is my week to make important phone calls, visits, Dr appointments, and grocery shopping. My mind is clearer and so is my heart. I find myself feeling more caring, romantic, and affectionate this week. Which is a blessed change from the other weeks in the month. However, this is also the week when my nights are filled with vivid nightmares and my days may be spent starting my next novel, maxing out a credit card on household organizing goods, or hyper-focusing on my friends and family and our relationships if I am not able to keep it all in check.

STAGE THREE (DAYS 14-20): By day 16 I have returned back to hibernation mode. My body wants to do nothing but sleep and eat sweets. My mind is filled with fog and anxiety about all of the stupid things I did or said during the last week of my energy filled whirlwind. My face, mouth, and throat are covered with autoimmune vasculitis; my body hurts all over, and my tongue seems to be directly connected to my frontal lobe which means sometimes you’ll hear me swear like an ol’ fashioned sailor.

STAGE FOUR (DAYS 21-26): Unfortunately this week things don’t really let up, except for the fatigue, sometimes. By now, Marge has surely entered the scene. Marge is the name for my alter ego. She has the ability to destroy a marriage if she’s let out of control for too long. She is filled with anxiety and a fear of rejection. She suffers from PTSD related to the loss of our girls and an emotionally rough childhood. She can cut Leif to the core in one seething second if not reigned in and shut up.

STAGE FIVE (DAYS 26-30): If we’re lucky Marge has left the building by now and things have settled down emotionally and psychologically so we only have the physical yuck to deal with leading back into day one. This is also another time when I might be more up for a romantic evening if we get the chance.
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